So last Thursday I had an outburst with my kids…It was 8:30pm and I was exhausted…
We decided to play a board game before bed and well…my son said something to my middle daughter, Caitlin, and it just set her off.
Now you’ve gotta know Caitlin. She’s a spitfire and super sensitive and takes things literally. So if you say something it will be taken exactly the way it was said! Aaaaand once she gets on a roll, well there is no stopping her.
Perhaps you’ve got someone in your life like that and can relate?
Fast forward 5 minutes and I’ve tried every mindful technique I knew before the floodgates opened!
I yelled and not just a little but a lot. I took Caitlin by the arm and sent her to her room at which point she cried even more and insisted she was right. Then it happened… my little one cried. My oldest got quiet and he was on the verge of tears and said he was sorry for being part of the problem.
There was NO yoga breathing that was going to save me that night.
Why would I share all of this with you? And what the heck does this have to do with sugar addiction and kicking cravings anyway? Well…let me explain.
Growing up my mom yelled ALL the time (sorry mom if you’re reading this but it’s true). She yelled about everything big or small and there were no apologies. It was “her way or the highway”.
So what did I do as a kid? I ran and comforted myself any way I could mostly in the form of some sugary cookie, ice cream or chocolate bar I was selling that month for a school fundraiser.
Here’s the thing and why I’m sharing any of this with you today!
You can break the cycle of running for sugar for comfort it just takes time, patience + tons of support from someone who understands addiction till you’ve broken the habit and created a new one.
That night I could have run for sugar to calm myself down but I didn’t. Instead I apologized to my kids for flying off the handle and not handling the situation calmer. I then made myself a cup of tea… a ritual I’ve come to love and appreciate.
The next morning we had a little family “meeting” over breakfast. I didn’t feel like the apology was enough for my kids to understand the magnitude of what just happened and how this is a great lesson for life!
While I may have nailed how to not run to sugar to comfort myself I was no where near the finish line when it comes to not yelling when I get triggered!
So as they ate their eggs, bacon and pancakes with some fruit and a cup of tea ( My oldest loves it with some honey) I did what any good mom who also specializes in sugar addiction would do…
I used last night’s outburst to share an analogy of what it’s like trying to get off sugar…
This is literally the 2 things I shared…
1) Everyone needs help to undo old habits they grew up with and mom is no exception. In my house my mom yelled all the time and when that’s your reality it’s just too easy to repeat that pattern and make it ok. Mom isn’t making it ok.
It takes time to create a new habit when mom gets upset and she’s working very hard at it but isn’t there yet… today’s yelling was because mom was super tired and she’s had enough of you all not being more mindful of each-other’s feelings. When you see someone is upset let’s work together to fix it, not just say “too bad”.
2) What happened last night with mom is just like when my clients start getting off sugar… they KNOW they want to get off and they’re making great strides but they don’t have all the tools yet so they stumble and fall. It’s OK and actually part of getting better as a person.
Change doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen. You just need support and you know what, mom needs more support to figure this out. She’s going to get some help so she can better handle situations like this. Yelling is not the right answer.
I then told them I’m going to call a local gal who can help me better understand how to handle this stuff.
If you could see the look on my kids’ faces the next day when I told them I booked an appointment and I can’t wait to learn some new tools. It was priceless!!
The truth of the matter is that what happened with my kids is no different than deciding you’d be a better person having less sugar in your life. You just need to admit that you can’t do it all alone and seek out help.
If that’s you…well good for you! Find someone you resonate with and go get help to start seeing sugar from a different perspective than just dieting to get it out of your life.
OVER TO YOU!!
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